Oscar, Oscar....
God I love this day....
Every year I look forward to the dresses, the make-up, the banter, and yes...the actual ceremony. Now, with the genius of Tivo, I'm able to fast forward through the dry parts, making the experience all the more enjoyable.

This year, I have to say, was fabulously produced. It felt like a Broadway show rather than some comedian's banter--which generally gets old around the 2 hour mark. The musical numbers threw us back into the days of variety shows, and it was a fresh face-lift...one that has been required for quite some time. When I first heard that Hugh Jackman was hosting, I had no hopes nor expectations. I figured this would be another year of bleeping through the stale parts and pausing for the speeches. What a great surprise...Good Job!

So here is my (personal) lowdown....

Best Dress--I loved Amy Adams dress...though the necklace was not my fav, the hue of red was AMAZING! Angelina looked godlike in her always black dress with the emerald earrings....Marion Cotillard's beautiful blue dress proved that color does make you stand out. I don't understand the pale skin with the pale dresses that seemed to be a trend this year. Evan Rachel Wood's dress was gorgeously made, but she was so washed out that you couldn't really "see" the magic it could have been. Anne Hathaway's dress was gorgeous and with her red lips and dark hair, it didn't seem to swallow her--as much--as Mz. Manson.

Musical Numbers--who knew that Anne Hathaway could sing? Good show Watson! That for me was a highlight, but the tuxedo number was such a throw back to huge stage productions, I couldn't help but get sucked in. Hugh's opening number was perfect. One thing I always loved about Billy Crystal's hosting was his opening song with all the films and jokes being cracked at their expense. It was a nice trend to bring back.

Speeches---I cried a couple of times. Heath Ledger, which is a given, made the tear ducts well up a bit. Dustin Lance Black, the writer of Milk, blew me away. I had no idea he was an ex-Mormon (wow, we're getting big numbers out here!) and I can only imagine the life he lived. His speech was sincere, heart felt, and touching. You seriously can't get better than that. I would be lying if I didn't jump for joy when Kate Winslet won, and her speech did not disappoint. Everything from the calling out to Dad--his whistle of acknowledgment back, to her being able to thank everyone (it seemed) without forgetting her husband, unlike Mr. Sean Penn, who didn't thank his on again-off again wife Robin Wright....perhaps they should be off again.
Penelope Cruz was great with the joke at the beginning about passing out. Man, one of the most beautiful women on the planet with such a lack luster dress.

The fact that Danny Boyle's "Slumdog" took home nearly everything it was nominated for, proved that we as an audience are ready for content...not just VFX, car chases, or action sequences. I have been a die-hard Danny Boyle fan for some time now--so rewatch the below list...this man tries everything and what makes it work are the characters, the way they are perceived, directed, and acted. His films are well orchestrated pieces of art, no matter what genre, and he finally has been recognized for it---YES! As for the overjoyed cast---HELL YEAH! It's about time someone actually show how excited they are to be at the Academy Awards. The pictures from the red carpet are proof enough that they are so proud of all their efforts, their product, and their art.
Perhaps Freida can teach Posh to smile...at least a little bit....

Danny Boyle's Body of Work:
Shallow Grave (fabulous dark thriller w/ a newish Ewan McGregor)
Trainspotting (everyone loves this film more than me, but we see his dark sense of humor, his ability to work with different actors, and at the time--all the movement with the camera was fresh)
A Life Less Ordinary (ok, didn't like this one, but we can't be pleased all the time)
The Beach ( I actually had no idea he did this, this movie sucked)
28 Days Later (ultimate in Zombie films--2nd only to Sean of the Dead, thank you for introducing us to Cillian Murphy!)
Millions (such a great lil' kid gangster movie)
Sunshine ( I personally loved this film, though some of the scenes were a bit shaky and some of the plot lines went a bit array)
Slumdog Millionaire (the buzz is huge, so truly no movie can possibly reach the expectations that everyone has for this golden nugget, but it is truly lovely and amazing)

This week has made me feel like I've got the world on my shoulders. That if I were Atlas, I definitely would shrug.

Last weekend, I noticed something as I rolled to the other side of the bed. There was no one there to stop me. As a matter of fact, there has been no one there to stop me for quite a long time.
Sitting up, I started doing the math.
Being along for a year or so before Jon.
Being in a long distance relationship with Jon.
and now.
I have officially rolled over to no one for 3 1/2 years.

After coming to this conclusion, I did what any other girl would do...I cracked a beer open while I made coffee.

I don't know if I have suppressed the loneliness, or if it slowly has been oozing out of me like a strange toxin for some time. I go about minding my own business, get up, get dressed, go to work, laugh and joke with co-workers, come home, throw on a movie or go to the gym...sometimes both...wash-rinse-repeat. I believe the only thing saving me from bursting out in tears on a regular basis is my sense of humor, friends, and sarcasm, but even those mechanisms are wearing thin.

People talk about their date nights complete with fancy dinners, but that's not the part I miss the most. What I miss more than anything is couch time, cooking together, having a movie buddy, and always knowing that you have someone to wake up to on Sunday mornings.

I know that things will change, hopefully sooner rather than later.
Here's to believing in love!

My favorite Thursday of the month...actually there's two. Pay day 1 and pay day 2. Its amazing how fast it goes, but for a series of minutes, I can look at my bank account and breathe deeply.
I can see the next 2 weeks not being so bad...unless of course, I decided to online shop.

Then I close that window, pay my bills, reopen the window....and start to online shop. Tis a horrible habit, but alas, its my cross to bear.

Valentines is just 4 days away, ahhh, memories of last year's blatant (yet ignored) signs that my relationship was going down the tubes. I have been thinking about the relationships between men and women quite a bit lately. The dynamics, the games we grown-ups like to play, the "he's not that into you's" and the "I'm afraid to share how I feel" and are they really just the same thing?

As wonderful as it can feel is as horrible it can feel...but I suppose, at least I feel.....

As I was sitting at my desk shopping online, filling my cart and then closing out the website, I thought to myself...tis time.
tis time to start the blog again.

Not that all of a sudden all these people started thinking the words that I speak are relevant, or that they should even remotely give a shit about my life...my love...or my experiences. No, no, exhale, I'm not going to shed light on anything, give you a warm fuzzy feeling, or even a warm grumbling feeling in your bowels. I'm just ready to write again, and that's a good start.

Actually, it just came to me while I was IMing my girlfriend. We were discussing how the days are long, but then I complained that I had far too many personal things to cram into such a tiny space . To which she said, "wow, that's great, what's going on in your life?". Because frankly, when I go out, I go out with her and we haven't seen each other a lot lately, so she was wondering if I was cheating on her with another group of hilarious women. Which is impossible, because no one has as much fun as we do when we are together....so Shel, our relationship is solid...solid as a rock.

No, no, I was merely referring to the fact that I was 3 episodes down from the final season of Battlestar Galactica and thanks to Johnny's open heart, open house policy, last night (after it being out for nearly a month) I was able to catch up. My lists of things to do consists of Tilexing the shower and doing a soft shoe with the rubber gloves and eye mask while its "working", sitting on the squeaky couch watching movies, making weird fantastically rich dishes for dinner, offset by well--the gym. Life hasn't been exciting, but it has been happening just the same, and I'm having a good time.

Mid-January I was able to go home for the Sundance Film Festival. This year it took me less than 24 hours to get sick, which is record timing. However, fortunately, the fever didn't set in for a little after the 72 hour mark (its always that night on the town that puts your sickness into high gear). The lovely plague lasted about 2 1/2 weeks and the cough still greets me like a warm hug every night around Martini hour. God bless it.

Facebook has also become a way of life. People are getting friended like crazy, people who shunned me and threw me to the wolves as a teenager, now embrace me like a long lost sister. But honestly, its just weird dude.

Defriending is another thing that I find AWESOME! Did you know that instead of having a conversation, you can merely--with the click of a button--defriend?
Not only that, but a nice little email pops up in your ex-friend's mailbox explaining the deed, just so you don't have to.
Awe technology! Soon people won't have to speak or communicate at all, there will be the constant computerized middle man....
Thank god! Especially when exploring the other options like, I dunno, communication? or that other soon to be forgotten word--confrontation?
oooohhhhhh, Passive Aggressive you win a NEW DINING ROOM SET!!

The coolest thing about Facebook is the pictures and finding those people that you DID want to find from your past. The kids pictures, the spouse they ended up with, their life.
It's fabu!
You can make your own story, or rather, I can make up my own story about how you met, where your first date, the proposal went, the whole 9 yards.
Trust me, you all have kick ass lives...except the school slut...
wait, I pressed "ignore" on that invite--phew! In my defense, she did blow a boyfriend and even though I can't remember his name, I can still tap into that pain--just a shot of vodka and a John Hughes movie and I'm there.

Family on Facebook is also a new twist because I had this old Mormon life that I shed a few decades ago and failed to tell them. My Dad still rows his boat in the river denial, whistling with faith that I will find my way. While I'm drinking on the Ferry boat across the way waving.

Anyway, so I have these cousins, once, twice removed, that I'm now "friends" with. I actually am part of the Hanson Reunion Family Tree. At first I was hesitant. Where they have their 2 year olds birthday pictures posted, I have have my 2am last call photos. But at the end of the day, its just another version of you say "Tomato" I say "Bloody Mary", so I think it will be ok.

Well that's a novel and a half, I'll leave you with some fun superbowl moments, cuz, that's just what I like to do. Til next time, do not watch 'Rocknrolla' its a strange waste of time but its great to listen to while you're cleaning the house.
Do check out this creepy weird documentary called "The Beales of Grey Gardens" which is being made into a film starring Jessica Lange and Drew Barrymore.
and above all, stay kewl...........

Last weekend completely and utterly sucked.
Sure, I did have good times...but I am really needy these days with the holidays coming up and well, I really didn't ask - nor did I expect - to feel this way.
The one thing that tends to be on my mind most of all was last year at this time I was packing to go home.
It was the first time my parents were to meet my boyfriend at the time, so there was that whole enchilada going on, as well as Jess just finishing this enormous endeavor of backpacking from one end of the country to the other.
There was finally this strange excitement of the holidays....meeting up with my brothers, the friends I don't get to see on a regular basis.
And then there was Christmas in New York.
Can't say I had anything to complain about...until now really...because these holidays...I'm just not looking forward to.

I know..I know..this too shall pass...
That someday soon, these weird stabbing moments of loneliness will stop pulsing and I'll be able deck the halls with the best of them...
but honestly, the timing just sucks.

So right now, its me..my Netflix queue and the gym that get me through the weekends. Sure I have plans for both Thanksgiving Dinner and Christmas Night, I have fabulous friends who love me and laugh at my misdirected sarcasm and off colored humor..thank God. But I wouldn't be honest if I didn't say that I'm "feeling it" right now.
The best thing to do I suppose it to raise a glass to "feeling it" and hope that time flies faster than a speeding bullet....
well, not that fast, I'm not wanting to hit my birthday too quickly....that I would like to savor.

Low and behold, I have joined the gym.
Frankly this isn't new news because I've been going for 2 weeks...well, technically 3, but since I did a number on myself in cardio kickboxing, I haven't gone back...because I can't move my legs.

She yelled, she screamed, I felt that there was no way I could let this woman down.
And I don't even know her name.
Its absolutely amazing how crappy I feel...you know...since I've decided to do something positive for my body and my psyche.
Ah well, I suppose that someday - when my ass is up to the heavens and I charge people to bounce quarters off of it...I will laugh at this pain.
Until then...ah yeah..I must feel it.